blogpig.co.uk

Would you give them your cash???

(more…)

A man arrives at the Pearly Gates. He sees a sign that says, “Men dominated by their wives.” This line is VERY long.

He sees another sign that says, “Men NOT dominated by their wives.” This line has only one man standing in it.

He walks over to this man and says, “Wow, you mean that you are the only one not dominated by his wife?”

The man shrugs and says, “I guess so, my wife told me to stand here.”

Would you pass the interview?

He prances around the ring. Giving spectators high fives, doing somersaults and jumping around like an arrogant idiot. It always pays not to be too cocky!

You may think that women fantasise about men in uniform like the fighter pilots in Top Gun, or Firemen and Soldiers. Maybe even a romantic scene from a film or book! Well you would be wrong, what women really fantasise about is a big strong man who tends to their every need, puts them first, cooks, cleans takes out the rubbish and even puts the toilet seat down.

How nice would that be?

(more…)

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are deducted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed…..+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows….0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets…..-1
You leave the toilet seat up…..-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty……0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex…..-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom…..-2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings……+5
In the snow …..+8
But return with beer…..-5
And no liners…..-25

More

It’s your last day in the job you hate, do you:

1) Leave gracefully with a smile on your face and thank all those idiots that you have worked with for making the last umpteen years so enjoyable.

2) Pack up your things and leave through the back door, hoping no-one will notice.

3) Leave them a memory that they will never forget.

U.S Gymnast Paul Hunt has performed at various events & Venues around the world as his alter ego Paulette Huntinova. He is so funny and should have won a medal for the following routines.

The floor exercise at the 1988 USA-USSR display in Los Angeles.

(more…)

I honestly did not realise that sunbathing for men could be this painful LOL

Some of these office pranks are just not funny. How sore would number 3 be and to be honest I really would not be pleased if I turned up at my office to be greeted by number 4……in fact I would probably just die on the spot!

1 - The Tin Foil Office.

(more…)