blogpig.co.uk

It’s never easy getting old….So I am told lol. Lets just try and find out why not!!

(more…)

Don’t you just wish you had a camera when one of those funny moments happens right before your very eyes? Well luckily enough, these people did. Whether it is making George Bush look a total arse of himself…(again) or ruining a family picture or even a reputation. Camera’s are great!!

What exactly is the soldier doing to the poor defenceless camel?

Is George W really talking to anyone??

(more…)

This ought to make all grandpas feel warm and cozy……

A six year old went to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa.
When they got to the hospital, he ran ahead of his grandma and burst into his grandpa’s room.
‘Grandpa, Grandpa,’ he said excitedly, ‘as soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog! ”What?’ said his grandpa

‘Make a noise like a frog because grandma said that as soon as you croak, we’re going to Disney World !!!!!!!’

Some boys will get up to just about anything. Some things which are very funny and some things which are just downright stupid. From checking out ladies boobies to plastering sanitary towels all over there bodies….and some of these are grown men!!!

We enter the world and then old age hits us quicker than we could ever imagine. Here are the various sets of “wheels” of life!!

Wife: “What are you doing?”
Husband: “Nothing”.
Wife: “Nothing…? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.”
Husband: “I was looking for the expiry date.”

Wife: “Do you want dinner?”
Husband: “Sure! What are my choices?”
Wife: “Yes or no.”

Wife: “You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?”
Hubby: “When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.”
Wife: “You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?”
Hubby: “Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Girl: “When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.”
Boy: “It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.”
Girl: “Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.” (more…)

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had exactly $16.50?left of the original $1000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer or wine one year ago, drank all the beer & wine, then turned in the cans & bottles for recycling, the REFUND you would have had is $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to Drink heavily and recycle.

An Australian guy is travelling around the Greek Islands . He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian barmaid. As she takes his order, a Foster’s, she notices his accent. Over the course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his place.

Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 to sleep with him.
As she is travelling around the world, and is short of funds, she agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders Fosters and after showing her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She remembers the night before and is only too happy to agree.

This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in again, orders Fosters but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks that if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more cash out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him.

She asks him where he’s from in Australia .

‘ Melbourne ‘, he tells her.

‘So am I. What suburb?’ she enquires.

‘Glen Iris’ he replies.

‘That’s amazing,’ she says excitedly, ’so am I - whatstreet?’

‘Cameo Street ‘ he replies.

‘This is unbelievable………’ she says, her voice quavering;

‘What number?’

‘Number 20′, he replies.

She is totally astonished. ‘You are NOT going to believe this,’ she screams, ‘but I’m from number 22! My parents still live there!’

‘I know…’ he says, ‘Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give toyou’

HE WHO DRINKS AUSTRALIAN, THINKS AUSTRALIAN

Now I know that nurses are underpaid and doctors have really crappy handwriting, but below are an example of REAL notes written in REAL patients medical charts and records……There really is no excuse for stupidity!

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. (more…)